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I rarely dream.

When I sink into the pillow and Angelique's scent washes over me, all I ever recall is that surreal feeling of floating before falling unconscious into blackness. I

appreciate those moments of peace from my own thoughts.

When I do dream, it's always the same. I rise from the bed, it is dark. I walk across the room to the bathroom, with a strange pressure sometimes a tickling sensation

in my abdomen. The floor of the bathroom is ice cold against my footpads. I reach for the light switch with one hand, and run the other over my stomach. I jerk it away

as my skin feels strange, and there is a warm sticky substance on my fingertips.

The light comes on and I see the cause. Under my right arm, down my side, holes. Round shallow holes in my skin, raw wounds, oozing a clear liquid, matting in my fur.

In this dream I am not afraid, even as I see things writhing beneath my skin. I know that they are rising from my womb, in my dream this is logical. I lift my arm over

my head and the holes stretch and distort. I run my fingertips over it, there is a stinging sensation. I press my fingertips into them and the stinging becomes more

intense but not unpleasant, a burning warm sensation begins to radiate all across my side.

It's only when I feel movement right beneath my finger I jerk my hand away. The pressure released sends a jolt of pain across my body. My fur stands on end. I cannot

look away from these holes even as the movement beneath my skin becomes more intense. My flesh is bulging from the pressure just below its surface.

I cannot look away.



Though I usually reserve my note taking for my medical endeavors, but I feel I need to record tonights experience, as it may be significant to said endeavors. I am not

one to believe in premonition, but the sensation I am experiencing is nothing short of panic, induced by of all things, a dream.

I rarely dream, save for one or two strange recurring ones. I had spent the weekend moving some of Angeliques belongings into the house, she is quite the scatterbrain,

(though I mean that in the most endearing way) and I discovered quite recently she had a storage unit in her name which was defaulting on the payments. Scatterbrained,

as I said.

After balancing the account I gained access, and I discovered a number of boxes, old school books, nick-knacks and most curiously a box of personal records. These are

as I write this next to me in my study. I will admit my curiosity is overwhelming but I respect Angeliques privacy, she is quite reserved about her family and her

history. Still... it is like an itch in the back of my mind.

After a glass of wine I had headed to bed, tired from moving around boxes and cleaning out the storage shed. I fell asleep quickly, the sound of light rain on the roof

and Angeliques scent on my skin.

And then I began to dream. In the dream the world was enormous, and I was a tiny spec, no bigger than your index finger. I recall in the logic of the dream I questioned

this and some force assured me I was not a micro-fauna, the world was simply much larger than me. Curious, how our subconscious rationalizes such nonsense. I was

walking along a table, cold underfoot, like stainless steel. It was dark and the reek of chemicals and bleach was heavy in the air.

I could hear heavy vibration, incredibly deep and loud, it made the ground shake beneath me. When I looked up I could see figures, their faces obscured as they towered

above me, only the reflection of their spectacles gleaming in my direction. They are talking and gesturing but I cant understand, the air just vibrates and hums in a

frequency I cant process. They feel familiar, and I am scared, scared because they are so much larger with so much power over me.

I run and become unable to move, standing atop a silver flat plate. It is linked to a number of colorful wires and I feel drained. In the dream I knew they were taking

my blood, all of it, draining from my frame. I can see numbers and analytics in garbled numerals on the walls. I turn to see one of the figures shake his head, and I

know he sees my thoughts. I cry out as he strikes a button on the wall.

There is a split second that follows that lasts an eternity. I seem to view it from outside my body seeing every terrible detail. My body unravels, my skin flays from

flesh in elegant spirals, stretching and tearing, falling from my body as easily as a virgins gown on her wedding night. My tendons snap, every fibers of muscle tearing

and springing back from the bone, their tensile strength lost. My abdomen opens, and my innards pour out exposed and twisting apart. I feel my cells distorting, I feel

my genes betray me, I feel my double helixes come undone, base pairs rejecting one another in a beautiful, terrible moment. I hear their laughter, and I am helpless.

I awoke drenched in sweat, clutching at my wrists, where the flesh first began to flay away. My heart has only just stopped its panicked pace. I do not believe in

premonition, but this dream reminds me of a quest long abandoned. A plan I failed to follow up on, distracted in my romance and my work from my true goals. I will find

those figures from my dream, I remember their names even now. I will find each and every one and make sure they are never able to turn my genes against me...

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: / Autopsy Life and Death
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In this new four-part series, anatomist Dr Gunther von Hagens and pathologist Professor John Lee get right under the skin to reveal the processes in life that tie us to our ultimate fate in death.The two scientists perform a series of autopsy demonstrations at the Institute of Plastination in Heidelberg, Germany, in which they point up the process of finding a cause of death. With the aid of human dissection, live models and scientific models they are able to reveal what disease really looks like and how it works.It is important to note that in the UK, a standard clinical autopsy tends to follow a set pattern in order to establish a sound cause of death for scientific, medical and legal purposes. The autopsy demonstrations in the programmes employ similar techniques to the clinical standard. But they were designed to present a clear view of the anatomy and pathology and as such they represent partial, rather than full autopsies. The autopsies in the films did not have any medico-legal purpose, since causes of death had, in all cases, already been registered in the manner required by German law.

Circulation. The series begins by looking at diseases affecting the circulatory system, a major cause of death in the UK. Von Hagens and Lee explain that rather than life hanging by a thread, it hangs by a tube. In particular they demonstrate the complex network of blood vessels that deliver oxygen to our vital organs. If some of these narrow, harden, become blocked or burst, they can damage the heart and end in what we understand as a heart attack.

Cancer. In the second programme of the series von Hagens and Lee take a look at cancer. They illuminate the difficulties of diagnosing and treating a disease that is a result of the body's own cells multiplying uncontrollably. Von Hagens dissects a woman who died of bowel cancer to reveal the site of the primary tumour and the other parts of her body that it affected. He also reveals the silent spread of tumours in the frozen body of a woman who died from breast cancer.

Poisoning. When von Hagens and Lee address the subject of poisoning, they are not thinking of a murder mystery. Von Hagens dissects the body of a dialysis patient who died of kidney failure to reveal that we are more likely to die of internal poisoning than by a surreptitious dose of arsenic. Lee explains how the body can be contaminated if critical organs like the kidneys and liver malfunction and fail to filter out poisonous byproducts of metabolism.

Ageing. In the last programme, von Hagens and Lee illustrate the process of ageing. To reveal the dread process for us all to see, the two scientists compare the bodies of two live models - an 84-year-old and a 24-year-old. Von Hagens then compares sections from the cadaver of a woman over 80 years old with the same sections from a much younger woman. By revealing the internal extent of ageing damage, von Hagens and Lee demonstrate the widespread effects of ageing and explain why we can't life forever.


: / Autopsy: Emergency Room
In November 2007, another series of 3 programmes was shown entitled Autopsy: Emergency Room, showing what happens when the body is injured, and featuring presentations by the British Red Cross.



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Strange Rituals /
In 2009 History Channel broadcast a series called Strange Rituals with eleven episodes. The first episode titled Last Rites featured von Hagens and his plastination method to preserve bodies.

Crucifixion /
On Easter Sunday 2012 the UK's Channel 4 showed a programme entitled Crucifixion in which von Hagens created his interpretation of the crucifixion of Jesus. The documentary examined the enduring iconic image of the Crucifix. A number of donors were used for the plastination of blood vessels to create the main structure of the body. At the end of the programme von Hagen announced that he did not expect to see the final work of art due to his ill health.